We’re told that Cozumel Island, where Sun Princess which today is joined by four more of the biggest cruise ships ever built is the place the ancients came to get into the mood for love.
The Maya first settled in eastern Mexico a couple of thousand years ago, and it was probably a playground for the even older Olmec civilization. Cozumel island was considered sacred to the Maya moon spirit Ix Chel, so women made pilgrimages to temples here in hopes of boosting their fertility and finding a mate.
The same forces seem to be at work today as throngs of cruise passengers sing along to the chants of rappers and rock bands as they surrender to their urges in modern shrines with names like Fat Tuesdays and Carlos and Charlie’s. Patrons dance exotic ritual bumps and grinds on table tops wearing headgear made of balloons while drinking flasks of frozen potions made with fermented juice of the native Mexican agave plant. You don’t have to be an anthropologist to deduce this tequila ceremony clearly reduces inhibitions.
But don’t waste a lot of time looking for the old Mayan temples to the spirits of whoopee; the biggest Mayan site on the island was bulldozed during World War II to build a runway. In fact even though the Mexican flag flies proudly on the flagstaffs, we might just as well be visiting a mall from where we set sail in Florida.
Today the 4,000 guests from Sun Princess are joined by well over 10,000 more passengers from ships including Carnival Valor and Icon of the Seas.
Welcome to the Cozu-mall!
It’s Mexico Lite: a make-believe village that’s predictably safe and clean, where you can drink the water and most of the locals speak at least some English. And the dollar speaks volumes in any language. Getting off Sun Princess you first have to pass through the portal of excess, a.k.a the duty-free shops. The city block-long display of liquors and fragrances, serapes and souvenirs may not have much to do with the real Mexico, but it is interesting to find that the once lowly tequila has come up in the world to the point where it’s as expensive as other liquors of the world.
Spilling from shops are profusions of the wonderful and the bizarre. There are mugs shaped like skulls, T-shirts that glow even in the sunlight, fanciful but mysterious Lucha Libre wrestling masks, Cuban cigars, and more silver than you could polish in a lifetime. There’s even a little man-made beach with hammocks.
But the big attractions are things that raise the spirits.
The longest lineup in any of the mall’s shops is at one not so discretely called the Deli and Drugs store. Sure there are some snacks available, but the main things the store sells are products you can’t get without a doctor’s prescription in the States: brand name drugs, notably Viagra and Cialis. . No questions asked: Have a nice night señor.
To answer your question: No, I didn’t indulge.
You can easily spend an entire morning or afternoon without leaving the mall and many passengers who aren’t on a tour seem to do just that. Fortunately the adventurous can just make a beeline though the mall to the entrance where there are car and scooter rentals, guided tours and even horse drawn carriage tours to the real Mexico.
Finally arriving outside the mall, the scene was entirely different. I can understand that some tourists might hesitate about venturing out into the streets with less predictable stores and menus in Spanish. But you also find that the island features white sand beaches and extremely friendly people who depend on tourism for their livelihoods. The nearly city of San Miguel is a very pleasant and clean town with some good restaurants. And while much of the merchandise is the same as you’ll find in the mall, it’s less pricey and you can always negotiate about the final price.
There are plenty of beaches and you can sign up for days that include beach chairs and all you can drink even if you haven’t bought a tour from your cruise line. A tip is that most cruise ship beach tours come back to the ship by 1, so the beaches become much less busy in the afternoon.
Returning to the cruise port that’s actually named Costa Maya, I did succumb to the lure of a margarita, or was it two? Getting in touch with the spirits is still as much an attraction here as it was to the ancients. I have to admit — I did have a good time getting mall-ed.
